终于s

终于到家了。back. from genting. again.

every time like this, i ask myself why i bother to take a day off, spend a few hours that night trying to sleep on a bumpy and noisy bus ride, reach there half-dead and half-frozen, only to donate $ at the casino, sleep a couple of hours, and get back on the bumpy bus ride to SG the next day.

this time, i donated a whole RM200. may not be a lot as compared to my mum’s, but i wished i had enough sense to spend it at the arcade. or on shopping, speaking of which, i spent another RM100 on. >_<

main purpose of going genting was to wear my high-heeled boots. (i hate those stares i get when i wear them in SG.) guess what? having not worn a single pair of high heels for 2 months, I ACTUALLY GOT BLISTERS! from those heels. haish.

besides wearing boots, i had another purpose of leaving SG for the weekend.

to clear my mind.

before i left, i asked the tarots whether i made the right decision.

the reading freaked me out. because it answered my question p-e-r-f-e-c-t-l-y.

the judgement card asks the resurrection to summon the past, forgive it, and let it go. there are wounds from the past that we never let heal. judgement advises us to finally face these, recognize that the past is past, and put them to rest. it usually signals just a big change, that involves leaving something old completely behind and stepping into something completely new. to heal and renew. and it means facing something that most querents don’t want to face. you can’t hide any longer, this card says. face what you have to face, make that decision. change.

so i did. try to. =x

这是多年来对他所有的希望。如今已在马拉西亚的莫一个角落。当我把它撕成一片一片时,真有点舍不得。我想我把他当成感情寄托,所以决定放下以后,突然有种空虚和迷失方向的感觉。但也轻松了许多。虽然会想念过去,但再也不会对他抱着期望。我选择相信是我的一厢情愿;这样我会好过一点。不管怎佯,这会是我最后一次写他。

希望将来如果我们碰面,我能说声 “我不再喜欢你了。“

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